7 Yeastie Beasties

Heads up today I'm talkin 'bout YEASTIE BEASTIES. Before you guys cry out TMI, guys can catch these suckers too from not wrapping before a random lay, and if you don't want to spend 15$ on some GlaxoSmithKline chemical suppressant, keep reading. That money could go to beer!

There was one summer in my life that I look back on with a nauseating nostalgia. Alexa and I lived in a slumlord run apartment behind an odorous municipal waste treatment plant (read: shit), in the third floor attic of a house with no AC or working shower/plumbing, out in the boonies so we had to bike everywhere in the summer heat.

So I got quite acquainted with these yeastie beasties cause of the heat, lack of shower, and sweaty cycling. Do I go to the doctor and rely on GlaxoSmithKline to give me some medicine filled with bits of dead animals and carcinogens? Do I haaaaave to spend my hard earned and sparse cash money at Walgreens? Fuck no!

There's a bunch of herbal cures you can follow, and it's quite sad how women and men alike have distanced themselves from herbal medicine. A knowledge of herbal remedies used to be something women valued and prided themselves on.

Solution 1- Garlic. Take a clove of garlic and put it up there. You can tie floss around it for easy removal. Keep it there for about 24 hours, then replace. This should only take a couple days. You will begin to smell like garlic though.

And if you are feeling particularly malevolent, you can stick it in your asshole rent-skiving room mates pasta sauce afterward and not tell him.

Solution 2- Yogurt works for ones that have progressed kind of far. REAL yogurt, like Greek yogurt or home made yogurt that has about 2 ingredients listed, no flavoring, and no sugar. You can fill a tampon applicator with yogurt, otherwise I don't know how you would do this without making a bigger mess. To soothe the burn just fill the fingers in a latex glove with yogurt, freeze it, then pop the frozen yogurt fingerlings up there. Try eating more yogurt too.

Yogurt=acidopholus and acidopholus=GOOD.

Solution 3- Not really a solution, but more of a cure. DRINK LOTS OF WATER and say good bye to refined white sugar.

6. HELP FIGHT PROPOSITION 8

I got laid off, which is the worst kind of lay one can get. So, if you can, donate money to help Alexa and myselfs cross country road warrior voyage. When we get to California we are going to go to support an illegal gay wedding. We want to show that proposition 8 may have won the battle, but they lost the war!!!