7 Yeastie Beasties

Heads up today I'm talkin 'bout YEASTIE BEASTIES. Before you guys cry out TMI, guys can catch these suckers too from not wrapping before a random lay, and if you don't want to spend 15$ on some GlaxoSmithKline chemical suppressant, keep reading. That money could go to beer!

There was one summer in my life that I look back on with a nauseating nostalgia. Alexa and I lived in a slumlord run apartment behind an odorous municipal waste treatment plant (read: shit), in the third floor attic of a house with no AC or working shower/plumbing, out in the boonies so we had to bike everywhere in the summer heat.

So I got quite acquainted with these yeastie beasties cause of the heat, lack of shower, and sweaty cycling. Do I go to the doctor and rely on GlaxoSmithKline to give me some medicine filled with bits of dead animals and carcinogens? Do I haaaaave to spend my hard earned and sparse cash money at Walgreens? Fuck no!

There's a bunch of herbal cures you can follow, and it's quite sad how women and men alike have distanced themselves from herbal medicine. A knowledge of herbal remedies used to be something women valued and prided themselves on.

Solution 1- Garlic. Take a clove of garlic and put it up there. You can tie floss around it for easy removal. Keep it there for about 24 hours, then replace. This should only take a couple days. You will begin to smell like garlic though.

And if you are feeling particularly malevolent, you can stick it in your asshole rent-skiving room mates pasta sauce afterward and not tell him.

Solution 2- Yogurt works for ones that have progressed kind of far. REAL yogurt, like Greek yogurt or home made yogurt that has about 2 ingredients listed, no flavoring, and no sugar. You can fill a tampon applicator with yogurt, otherwise I don't know how you would do this without making a bigger mess. To soothe the burn just fill the fingers in a latex glove with yogurt, freeze it, then pop the frozen yogurt fingerlings up there. Try eating more yogurt too.

Yogurt=acidopholus and acidopholus=GOOD.

Solution 3- Not really a solution, but more of a cure. DRINK LOTS OF WATER and say good bye to refined white sugar.

6. HELP FIGHT PROPOSITION 8

I got laid off, which is the worst kind of lay one can get. So, if you can, donate money to help Alexa and myselfs cross country road warrior voyage. When we get to California we are going to go to support an illegal gay wedding. We want to show that proposition 8 may have won the battle, but they lost the war!!!

5 Toofpaste

I've started doing yard work every weekend/school break for cash money. That's right, all 5 2" of me was ripping up trees killed from the epic ice storm with tractors and cutting firewood with chainsaws. I think the realization that I need to start doing work came about when I realized that I can't afford tooth paste anymore, so how could I possible afford me and Alexas cross country trip? The theme is America the Free, but let's get real, it can't all be free. I ended up having to make my own toof paste, how punx right? Actually, come to think of it dental hygiene isn't very punx.

DZ and I just used straight baking soda, but it tastes pretty gross so here's the recipe:
3 parts baking soda
1 part water
1 part whatever yummy extract you like. But this stuff is expensive, so you can always do what I do and just rinse with tea to get the taste out.

Put it in a jar or container, mix it together, and just dab some on your tooth brush.

Gargling with 1/2 hydrogen peroxide and water will also whiten your teeth.

Also, be sure to come to this and do my modern dance workshop:

4 New Kylesa

The new Kylesa record is kind of a let down. The whole record pretty much sounds like the transitional songs (think "Intermission") that you normally find between those totally epic and crushing songs like "Bottom Line". There's also a lack of Laura singing, weak. It's okay to listen to when I'm sitting around, but as a live experience? No. I feel as though I saw them live and they played songs off this record I wouldn't know what to do. Stand there? Nod? Certainly not this:

If this was the first Kylesa record I heard, I think I would have dsmissed the band as mediocre sludge. It seems as though this record was put out just to have a new record on their tour with *MaStADoN* since Kylesa is becoming king shit in metal. All in all, I'd give this record a C.

3 punkin seeds

A tasty vegan snack, coming tonight, cause dan is running late...bah

The post, months late:
Preheat oven to 300
Gut the pumpkin, it's easier if you carve them out with a spoon. Separate the seeds from the orange stringy stuff, you can soak them in water to soften the seeds if you want. Then shake the seeds in ziploc filled with olive oil and sea salt, and put them on a cookie sheet in a single layer. Bake for 30-40 minutes stirring occasionally, until lightly browned. You may have to taste them to make sure they are totally dried out.

2 DIY pickles

As you may or may not already know, I'm secretly domestic in an "I rock out to The Cramps while I cook food I dumpstered" kind of way and try hard to be the closest thing I could be to a homesteader, you know, only living in an apartment. So, to learn one of the oldest and most preserved (literally) food skills, I got some boil canning equipment from my grandparents barn and Dan and I made pickles a couple weeks ago. The recipe
-1/3rd cup picking spice
-1 1/2 liters vinegar
-2 liters water
-5-6 pds FIRM pickling cukes
-1/2 cup sugar
-1/3rd or 2/3rd cups PICKLING salt. Not regular salt.

1) Soak yer cut up pickles in a bath of ice and cold water for 2hrs-24hrs, being sure to keep the bath cold.


2) Sterilize, lest you like botulism. Put the lids and bands in a small pot and simmer them for 10 minutes (YOU CANNOT REUSE LIDS, ONLY BANDS). We sterilized the ball jars (don't use mayo/old pasta sauce/etc jars, they don't seal properly when reused. Use ball or knox) by boiling them in the canner rack for about 20 minutes. Water should go 1/2 inch over the top of the jar. Be careful when taking out the rack and draining the jars because the jars are filled with scalding water.



3) Brine. While this is going on, make yer brine. We mixed the water, salt, vinegar, spice, and sugar. Let it simmer for about 20 minutes. The vinegar burns your throat and nose so put a fan on if you have one.


4) Jar. Put the pickles in the jar, cram them in as tight as you can. It helps if you keep the jars in the rack. Ladle in the brine leaving 1/4th inch of headroom. Sprinkle in some spice if you'd like. Then take a knife and slide it up and down the sides of the jars to remove air bubbles. Put the lids and bands on.

5) Seal. Put the rack with the jars back in yer canning pot and boil for 25 minutes. Water should be 1/2 inch over the tops of the jars. If you boil them for too long the pickles get kind of soft, which unfortunately happened to some of ours. Remove the jars and let them cool for a couple hours. If you can't push down the lid of the jar, a+ job! Store yer pickles in a cool dark place for between 8 weeks to 1 year. If you can pop the lid down, do not pass go do not collect 200$ the jar didn't seal. Put it in the fridge and eat it within the next few days.

6) Wait. Unless yer like us and opened a jar after 2 weeks.

1

I like air travel. It's travel for the chronically late. I'm on average 30 minutes late for every flight and have never missed one. This week at Logan I was 30 minutes late for my flight, 30! Not only did I get to cut in line at security, but my flight was delayed and so I was actually right on time. Now, later that week I was traveling with an early to Reagan International. We got there thirty minutes before my flight and I had to wait around for 3 hours thanks to delays. Three hours! A plight that coul've easily been avoided. We're on the same wavelengths, US Airways, Alitalia, Delta and I. The early, the anal, feel frustration at the time they will have to spend in the terminal because of their flights untimely delay. Has anything been gained from being early? Have you ever been bumped up to first class because you got there early and the flight isn't full yet? Has the captain ever announced "This flight will be leaving an hour earlier than planned! Avast ye early, rejoice, fuck, and make merry!". The late traveler is immediately greeted by a euphoric wash of relief upon seeing "Depature 6:00" jump to "Departure 7:00". As the chronically late, we live in a constant state of adrenaline rushes for just. barely. making. it. We walk right on the terminal for the late flight without having to kill time buying overpriced peanuts and chick-fil-a.